“The trick, kiddo,” his mom replies slowly. “Is finding someone who complements you instead of completes you. You need to be complete on your own.”
-The Fight, and Fate
Saturday, January 25, 2014
The New Somer
Hello all! I have been meaning to do a New Years Resolution list but haven't even gotten there which is very very sad considering it is already the 25th of january but let's pretend that it is the beginning of the month lol. Anyways here we goooooooo:
1. Don't procrastinate. Yes it is very hypocritical for me to say that considering how late I am posting this, but I do really want to try my best to stop being lazy. Last semester I could've had better grades if I hadn't slacked off and procrastinated so much in the very beginning of the semester. For example, the other day I rented a Red Box movie (it was the movie Turbo which BTW was a terrible film 10/10 would not recommend watching it) and I lost it and I procrastinated so much on calling Red Box about it that now they're gonna charge 20 bucks on my card for the movie. This is what I mean by procrastinating. Merp.
2. Be more healthy. Yeah yeah yeah this is another typical thing for everyone's New Years Resolutions. And every year millions of fat people say "I'm gonna exercise every day and go on a diet for the whole year!" but let's get real--that ain't happenin'. I have recently been working out and my goal is to go at least two days a week to the local track (BTW our local track her sucks bc there are no hot, buff guys that go to it how sad). Last week I went, and as I jogged with the overweight moms and their strollers and all the old people, I felt as though my heart was going to explode into confetti and my throat was going to engulf into flames, if you're catching my drift, yes I am out of shape. But yeah so my goal is for that not to happennnnnnnnnn. I went to the doctor the other day and as I stepped onto the scale my eyes widened because in the past year I have gained 6 POUNDS. The doctor didn't even seem shocked, probably because she's a little chunky too, but holy shit I need to start worrying about my weight. My mom said I weigh the same amount that she weighed when she was PREGNANT WITH ME. THIS IS NOT OKAY YOU GUYS.
3. Live life on the edge. Lol it sounds so dramatic, ~~the edge~*~. But yeah I am trying to do this new thing where I reinvent myself as the straightforward, confident, cool, and collected Somer. I am so excited to to tell you guys all about this that my hands are shaking !!!! Okay so ever since I had my epiphany/eye-opening experience. Oh thats right, I forgot to completely blog about that...... Anyways, so about 3 or more weeks ago I almost got into a bad car accident. I was out late one night with my friend Bobby and he was making a U-turn at a light and this van sped through a red light and nearly smashed into my side of the car. If Bobby had started turning like 0.2 seconds before he did then I probably would've gotten hit and seriously injured or killed. Mind you, this van was going at least 15 mph over the speed limit. After seeing my life flash before my eyes... *drumroll plessss*... I realized that if I had died that night then that would've been the saddest thing ever. To think that if I had died that the local newspapers would probably say "DEPRESSED 18 YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL DIES YOUNG WITH A BROKEN HEART AND A SAD SOCIAL LIFE" After that I was like wtf I don't want to die like this. I had been depressed for so long and I was sick of going home every day feeling sad and empty and needy. So! I decided to change my life around. I choose to be happy and to try new things and to be friends with more people and to smile more often and to have late night adventure with people I love. Which brings me to tell ya guysssss that I am going on a date tonight !!!!!! It has been two months since the break up. Maybe I am moving on too fast. Or maybe this is just me doing my best to live my life doing whatever I want to do. (Besides that asshole told me the other day that he's having a grand time dating other girls lol). I am super duper nervous and when I get nervous I poop a lot HAHAHA. Anyways its with my best friend who I like a lot so I hope I don't mess this up ya guys. This will be the first time that I've ever gone on a real date. ◕‿◕ I will most definitely post about how it goes and yadda yadda another day.
Okay so those are my top 3 resolutions. Lol they're not much but they are a start. Anyways the best of luck to everyone else who is trying to accomplish their New Years Resolutions! Goodbye!!!!
1. Don't procrastinate. Yes it is very hypocritical for me to say that considering how late I am posting this, but I do really want to try my best to stop being lazy. Last semester I could've had better grades if I hadn't slacked off and procrastinated so much in the very beginning of the semester. For example, the other day I rented a Red Box movie (it was the movie Turbo which BTW was a terrible film 10/10 would not recommend watching it) and I lost it and I procrastinated so much on calling Red Box about it that now they're gonna charge 20 bucks on my card for the movie. This is what I mean by procrastinating. Merp.
2. Be more healthy. Yeah yeah yeah this is another typical thing for everyone's New Years Resolutions. And every year millions of fat people say "I'm gonna exercise every day and go on a diet for the whole year!" but let's get real--that ain't happenin'. I have recently been working out and my goal is to go at least two days a week to the local track (BTW our local track her sucks bc there are no hot, buff guys that go to it how sad). Last week I went, and as I jogged with the overweight moms and their strollers and all the old people, I felt as though my heart was going to explode into confetti and my throat was going to engulf into flames, if you're catching my drift, yes I am out of shape. But yeah so my goal is for that not to happennnnnnnnnn. I went to the doctor the other day and as I stepped onto the scale my eyes widened because in the past year I have gained 6 POUNDS. The doctor didn't even seem shocked, probably because she's a little chunky too, but holy shit I need to start worrying about my weight. My mom said I weigh the same amount that she weighed when she was PREGNANT WITH ME. THIS IS NOT OKAY YOU GUYS.
3. Live life on the edge. Lol it sounds so dramatic, ~~the edge~*~. But yeah I am trying to do this new thing where I reinvent myself as the straightforward, confident, cool, and collected Somer. I am so excited to to tell you guys all about this that my hands are shaking !!!! Okay so ever since I had my epiphany/eye-opening experience. Oh thats right, I forgot to completely blog about that...... Anyways, so about 3 or more weeks ago I almost got into a bad car accident. I was out late one night with my friend Bobby and he was making a U-turn at a light and this van sped through a red light and nearly smashed into my side of the car. If Bobby had started turning like 0.2 seconds before he did then I probably would've gotten hit and seriously injured or killed. Mind you, this van was going at least 15 mph over the speed limit. After seeing my life flash before my eyes... *drumroll plessss*... I realized that if I had died that night then that would've been the saddest thing ever. To think that if I had died that the local newspapers would probably say "DEPRESSED 18 YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL DIES YOUNG WITH A BROKEN HEART AND A SAD SOCIAL LIFE" After that I was like wtf I don't want to die like this. I had been depressed for so long and I was sick of going home every day feeling sad and empty and needy. So! I decided to change my life around. I choose to be happy and to try new things and to be friends with more people and to smile more often and to have late night adventure with people I love. Which brings me to tell ya guysssss that I am going on a date tonight !!!!!! It has been two months since the break up. Maybe I am moving on too fast. Or maybe this is just me doing my best to live my life doing whatever I want to do. (Besides that asshole told me the other day that he's having a grand time dating other girls lol). I am super duper nervous and when I get nervous I poop a lot HAHAHA. Anyways its with my best friend who I like a lot so I hope I don't mess this up ya guys. This will be the first time that I've ever gone on a real date. ◕‿◕ I will most definitely post about how it goes and yadda yadda another day.
Okay so those are my top 3 resolutions. Lol they're not much but they are a start. Anyways the best of luck to everyone else who is trying to accomplish their New Years Resolutions! Goodbye!!!!
Friday, January 10, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Jesus Take the Wheel
Oh lordy lord, it has only been a couple of days since I last blogged but I feel as though I should make it a necessity for me to post more often this year. Ya know with it being 2014 and errythang. Like skipping months at a time and abandoning various blogs is so 2013.
To be honest I can't believe school starts up again in approximately 17 days. I have this terrible feeling in my gut about having to go back to school. But thats because I still have that high school mindset and I continuously forget that college isn't all that bad. I have so much more freedom in college and that is one thing that I will always love about it. I remember in high school it was always "Mission Impossible: Escape the dean/principle/police officer and successfully ditch" lol.
Anyways last night I almost died. I don't really have much else to blog about so I guess I will tell y'all about how I almost died with Ruben. We went to Los Banos (hehehehe the bathroom town) to pick up his sister last night and oh. my. god. I have never been so afraid for my life. I was not aware that to get to The Bathroom Town that you have to go through a windy ass road that is pitch black and surrounding you is just hills and then fields and fields and fields that are full of possums and murderers. I was not wearing my glasses and I was so unprepared and for a while there I was blindly just driving and praying that I did not crash. I started to get really bad anxiety and I was sweating like crazy. But I am happy to say that my car is okay and we made it there and back in one piece. I started to even scare Ruben a little bit because I had a bad panic attack. But in all honesty, if I could do it again then I would. Driving around with him is one of the funnest and coolest things ever and it's something that I didn't really like until I met him. We even stopped along the way at this place called Casa de Fruitas (I think it was called that). And it was really funny because literally everything in the tiny shopping center was titled with "Casa de (insert word here)". Even in the gas station it said "Casa de Bathrooms" and "Casa de Snacks" and "Casa de Cashier." I got a real kick out of it and couldn't stop laughing hahahaha I walked through the gas station laughing like a stupid little girl. Ruben said that in the day they have a petting zoo and everything at their market. I really really really want to go back some time.
Although the experience was life threatening and terrifying... I really wouldn't mind going on more life threatening and terrifying adventures with him. It's such an interesting meaning to the word adventure. As children we always say, "I'm going on an adventure!" and then we do. Which technically is just a trip to a park or a climb to the top of a tree. But as young adults it's hard to find that spirit of adventure in our lives. Which is probably why so many people enjoyed the movie Up, ya know with the whole "Adventure is out there!" motto. I want to continue having lots and lots of adventures and never lose that kid at heart attitude. But I mostly want to find someone special who would be willing to go on millions of adventures with me and never be too lazy about it. That type of person that you can call up who will be doing nothing and instead of continuing to do nothing they decide to go out of their way and spend time with you (I don't think that really makes sense but yeah lol).
Anyways, I am lacking sleep and this post was mostly just nonsense. So goodnight world.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
"I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming."
Tell The People That You Love That You Love Them by Rachel C. Lewis
Thursday, January 2, 2014
A Self Relization!!!!!
Well first of all before I start...
HAPPY NEW YEAR FELLOW READERS!!! ◕‿◕
^This photo was actually taken of me on January 1, 2013!!!!^
I know that I am a day late to actually posting this but let's just pretend that for the moment it is not January 2nd and it is instead January 1st. And yes, I am back!!! It's been a while since I lasted updated this blog and I mean a LOT has happened these past few months and I honestly do not know where to start. But first I will begin with why I was gone for so long.
So!!! This is going to be a long story *grabs soft blanket and fluffy pillow*. Basically I was gone for so long was because I was really depressed. And it took me until just a few weeks ago to realize it. But lets rewind to the beginning of September so I can explain ma self. I officially became a ~college girl~*. Ya know I never realized that I could possibly have a life after high school ended. In my mind everything was going to stay the same once I entered college but I was dead wrong. Things changed drastically and after a couple of months of attending college, I came to the realization that I was not happy at all. I had a job I hated, most of my friends had all went away for college (and I suck at making new friends), an extremely busy boyfriend (who I barely got to see), and I wasn't caring that much about attending my classes (aka I became slacker Somer lol). Everyday I would commute home and while sitting in the busy 5 o'clock traffic, I would think to myself about how miserable I was. If you read back on some of my previous posts, I had so much fun during the summer. It was probably the funnest summer of MY LIFE!!!! and so I went from super fun, social vacation to a depressing, antisocial school year. Things became so bad that I could spend the 5 hours each day that I was at school just flat out not talking to a single person. I was pretty much a mute. And I hated every single thing about it. I never realized how hard it was to just make new friends, or let alone just introduce myself.
I wish this was one of those stories where I say that things really got better as this past semester progressed... but to be honest in some ways it sorta did but it mostly didn't (lol I know I'm really not making sense here). Anyways towards the end of the semester I did end up making one friend at my college, which I am really proud of myself about!!! When I told my mom I made a friend she was like "awwwwwwh you made a friend? Awww so proud of you" and I could see the tears in her eyes (◕ヮ◕) hahahaha.
I ended the semester with okayish grades. During finals week, I was sadly going through a very stressful break up. Instead of focusing on the break up, I decided to pour myself into my school work. There was always a test to study for, a presentation to give, and homework to complete. When people were sound asleep, I was finishing an essay and getting started to write another one. But once finals were over and I had 100% completed all my classes... I had nothing left to do but think and be depressed about the break up and think about how bad things have gotten. We broke up because things were just inevitably not working out and they hadn't been for months prior. Breaking up was probably one of thee hardest things (lol) I have ever done. As of now it has been a little over a month since everything happened. He is no longer in my life and I think that's what made me the saddest. To know that he just wanted to shut me out for good and not even still be there as a friend. Somedays I do get super sad and I just sit at home and miss the old person that he used to be to me. I've been playing a lot of video games and watching sci-fi, psychological thrillers. I figured if I can shoot zombies brains out, or watch a serial killer skin his victims, or just pretty much lay there and not think... then I will eventually be okay.
"Like congratulations to the whole world on not killing yourselves." Lol this video was so relevant to how I felt and I laughed so much about it. I think I've watched it about 200 billion times these past few weeks. Go check out mytoecold's other videos too. They're hilarious and will make you laugh for hours~~~
Anyways here's to 2014! Here is to the new me and a fresh new start. I was actually contemplating on whether I was going to post this on my private blog or my public blog. But I guess you guys got lucky. Today I did have a self realization as I was reading one of my favorite bloggers past posts (Link of her relevant blog post!!!) Basically if you do not read it, she had a life scare stroke thingy after having a really bad break up with her long term boyfriend (like me!!!) and afterwards realized that life is short and that she should go out and do whatever she wants and take chances and date whoever she wants and let her heart move on yadda yadda. And it was so relevant to my situation that it made me realize that I need to be more positive and I just need to keep pushing forward. I deserve to have more of those SIGH~I am so happy moments. And it took me now to realize that the only person standing in the way of that happening is myself. I have found an interest in like-liking someone else, but lately I have been questioning myself deeply on whether I even want to date ever again for the rest of my life lol. It's weird going to back to that whole awkward stage where you crush on someone hehehehe. I'm not saying I'm gonna go wild and make another boy my boyfriend right now (lol which really is not going wild but) krizko's blog post made me start thinking a lot. Even though I was mentally, physically, and emotionally hurt, maybe there is still a chance for me to move on sooner and actually just take a chance. I am glad to say that I am in a much better place than where I was a few weeks ago. Each day I get stronger and things get easier and I am learning how to deal with my new life as a ~college girl~*. I have many goals for my next semester in 2014 and I am so excited to do my best to succeed them!!! Well that is all I have for now (sorry this post was so long, I know most of you are probably not even going to read all of it lol).
Anyways,
Goodbye lovely readers! Until next time! ☆彡 <3
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